Leaving isn't an easy matter
by JuzSomeone
Summary: Robin is used to being alone, to being unwanted and despised. So it puzzles her, when she put in so much effort leaving this particular crew. Yet, they continuously seek her out. Cp9/Water 7 spoilers.
1. Beginning

**CP9**… Upon hearing the word, my blood ran ice cold. _They are back._

Despite it being a busy street, all I could hear was the three letters looping over and over again in my mind. It was like the surroundings were frozen and the only person walking (away) is the embodiment of Evil. It seems that Evil has finally caught up to me, after all.

I stood there rooted to the ground as Doctor-san's words floated to me. Doctor-san, who is only a few paces away from me, seems to be a million miles away. Then again he had always been this way. He, like the rest of the Strawhat pirates, is in a _different_ world. Mentally shaking my head as the truth dawn upon me, I understood with sudden clarity, the reason that Evil was able to locate me. After all, their world never had a place for me to begin with, all I did was to force my way into their world. It came, to claim me _back_.

My starving lungs took a breath of the much-needed air and I realized that I had been holding my breath. With that, reality snapped back and my mind raced as I considered all options. I turned and paused as realization struck me. Instead of having thoughts of fleeing, my brain is thinking of ways to protect _their_ world. I blinked and stopped to consider the track that my mind was taking. Feeling that it was not a bad risk to take, I made my decision. I would be damned then let the _same _Evil taint their still-naïve world. With a small amused smile on my face, I took a step forward and follow its path…

* * *

After roaming half of the city, I cannot help but wonder if my guide was lost. I had tried to discern the motive behind this random walking but it was to no avail. While pondering, my guide led me to one of the many alleyways. As a habit that came from years of hiding, I peered through my fringe without moving my head. A small inaudible gasp escaped as I saw the only other figure in this otherwise deserted area.

_Cook-san!_ My emotions swung again as I tried to figure out the guide's thoughts. My horror grew as I thought of the worst-case scenario. Painfully aware that Cook-san could turn around anytime, my features were schooled to a blank. I muttered a quick prayer to whatever higher powers were there that Cook-san does not notice I am here.

My teeth gnashed together as I heard the familiar **'Robin-chwan!'** Tensing myself when we approached a dead-end, I raised my hands slightly. I was prepared to take action as soon as the guide turns around but was thrown off-guard as he muttered," Okay, this will do." and went on to stand against the sidewall. My surprise grew as he swung _in_ to show the interior of the warehouse. Eager to avoid a confrontation, I acquiesced to his unspoken order.

* * *

Taking a seat in the well-furbished warehouse, I laid back, projecting a relaxed air. Raising an eyebrow at the guy in front, I inclined my head at his 'request' to hear him out. Silently, my rage grew as they lay out their so-called conditions. They had no right to drag the Strawhat pirates into this! The only mistake that the Strawhats committed was to unknowingly harbor a dangerous woman. However, that has always been _their_ way. **Anyone associated with evil is evil**, a hard and fast rule that they practically worship.

Leaning back, I pulled my hat lower to cover my eyes as the uncharacteristic urge to be hasty, to sprout hands to kill the person sitting in front of me, was growing with each minute. The only fact that penetrated through my killing haze was that they had a solid case set against me. Upon learning it, I slumped into my seat, all pretenses gone as I resigned.

This is _ridiculous_, I should have known that there was no way that fate would let me lead a peaceful life. I should have perceived it was the calm before the storm. That it was just a cruel joke that karma has played on me. Letting me taste a life, which I would have led if I were not the _demon child_, before ripping it away from me. Lastly, I should have foreseen that I would fall in love with this crew…

Lifting my head to meet the eyes of the representative, I stated calmly and clearly, "I will do it."

* * *

Knowing the Strawhats, they would be displeased and probably wreak havoc when and during the time taken to find me. That is, if I had disappeared without a trace. I had to argue and reason for a long time with them that by disappearing mysteriously with some stranger, does not placate the Strawhats at all. It will probably just fuel their search. Therefore, I had to personally tell them goodbye. Or at least that is the excuse I give to them and myself. Secretly I am confused, if this is a necessity or _desire_. Then again, I berated myself silently, "It doesn't really matter_, _after this, I would not interact with them again."

Author's note : Firstly, thank you for reading. This is my first story. Well, first fan fiction to be exact. I gotta confess and say that I had written it further till I'm unsure if I should continue. So I chose to publish part by parts before making the decision. Anyway, review and let me know how is this chapter or how I can improve my writing. I will appreciate it very much :]


	2. Faith

I am risking exposure by standing at a public area but I knew that Aqua Laguna would drive most citizens in search of shelter and the only people out are carpenters who were looking for the two Strawhats and me. Let us _not_ forget, the Strawhats who were looking for me too.

Knowing the crew, I guess that at least three people would be free to find for me. Long Nose-kun, Doctor-san and Cook-san. Both Captain-san and Navigator-san would most likely go off to see Iceburg as Captain-san have to know the truth and Navigator-san would worry that he will over-react to things. Swordsman-san would probably be somewhere lazing around, not for long, given the crowd's temperamental.

* * *

Making sure to stay close to the area of the Sea Train departure area, I waited patiently for the Strawhats to appear and quietly mused, "I don't know why but I just knew that they will find me." Granted that the city was big, I was pleasantly surprised that it did not take long to hear distinctive hoof steps. I sprouted an eye discreetly on the stairway across me and sighed in relief at the sight of a very familiar set of hooves.

Keeping myself occupied by studying the structure of Water 7, I was startled to hear and see Doctor-san sprawled _ungainly_ at the bottom of the stairs. Turning away to hide a smile that was tugging on my lips, I reminded myself that the only reason I was here is to say goodbye. I steeled myself and slipped on a blank mask to look back and face a very shocked Doctor-san.

My eyes widened and no matter how much I tried to tear myself away from his gaze, I failed miserably. I could not help staring because I wanted to remember all features of at least one of the crew. After seconds of staring, Cook-san shouts could be heard clearly over the wind as he came down the staircase. Thankfully, I recovered myself before Doctor-san snapped out of his astonishment.

* * *

Standing there in the cold, biting wind, waiting for Cook-san to finish his admonishments, I wanted to hug myself as I was once again _forcefully _reminded of the difference between us. Such as was represented by the canal of water that lay between us. However, I forced the urge back down and instead, decided to stand and regard them offhandedly. Hearing him trail off, I noticed that he was finally aware of my presence. Refocusing my attention, I was ready to wage war with both the Strawhats and my quiet desires. A small part of me, wondered where was Long Nose-kun. It was unlikely for my hypothesis to be wrong…

* * *

Author's note: Firstly, I would like to thank all viewers :) Even if you came in here, read a bit and go :O Secondly, a big thank you to Mr Khan and becket for reviewing and alerting+faving respectively. Lastly, I apologise for the short short and somewhat monotone chapter 2 :X I wanted to keep the conversation between the three of them as one chapter so I had to post this in-between one first. (I promise, it will be more interesting.)

Don't be too used to this update speed :) Since my updates will probably be very unpredictable. The length of my update will be fluctuating too because I post as chapters when I feel that the cut-off point is right.

I'll probably post the conversation a few hours later. Since it's like the wee hours of the morning now ._. I would like to proof-read it once more before submitting it and my concentration is kinda shot now.

For those who noticed it, I'm writing the scenes as it appears in the anime and create my own in-between when it's needed. So some scenes jump and some have a make-up situation in-between. Once again, please review and let me know how is this chapter. I will appreciate it a lot :P


	3. Showdown

Disclaimer: I forgot to mention, in the past two chapters, that One Piece does not belong to me ._. If it did, poor Robin would have more fight time xD

* * *

Deciding to give Cook-san a futile attempt to sway me, I listened to his opening paragraph. Inside, I was shaking my head at the naivety of the crew, how could they want someone like me? Someone who once stood against them, who only managed to joined the crew at the whim of the captain, whose best skills laid in deceit and assassination and whom a Marine Admiral had warned them of? _They were all too free with their trust._

I shook myself mentally as his last statement got through to me. "**Hold on. I'll head over there."** It was a simple statement consisting of six words. However, the feelings of touched and joy that it brought along was, by all means, not a small amount. Unfortunately, before I can enjoy these rediscovered feelings, reality made an unpleasant reminder. _I have to get them to remain there._ After all, I would not put it past them to drag me kicking and screaming back to Merry Go. Like their captain first did.

At that instance, all the careful planning of the words to say next was thrown out of the window. Instead, I went along with a mixture of my instincts and knowledge of the crew for the next few sentences. I am instantly aware that I had to lay it plainly for them, so there was no way that they could mistake my intention of leaving them.

Therefore, my next words were blunt. "**Let's part ways here, in this city."** Short and to the point. When Cook-san replied, I find myself cursing at the Strawhats' way of thinking. It was _aggravating_, after stating my plan so clearly, the both of them still refused to accept it! Cook-san even went one more step to offer an excuse to me.

Thinking fast, I made a decision to switch tracks. Instead of convincing them that I want to leave, I shall make it so they leave me. Really, even if they usually complained that their Captain is childish, could they not see that the whole crew was like this? All of them, in terms of their thinking, were so child-like?

Sighing silently, I raged at the fact. Although it further reinforced my resolve to protect them, to the best of my ability. It was also something to add to the growing list of differences that we had.

I know for certain that the next few words will hurt them, will betray their trust in me. But, I believe that they will get over it and survive. They all had their personal dreams to fulfill, after all. None of them will let this _incapacitate_ them. With this information safely hugged close to my heart, I went on and confirm their minute suspicion. "**The person who broke into the mayor's room last night was indeed me."**

I _intended_ to leave it there and then_. _Leave my last sentence hanging over them, this matter wrapped up nicely, to my standards at the very least. Yet, the look of total shock and disbelief on their faces prompt me to throw out a statement of mine. Admittedly, it had never cross my mind that they will blame themselves for my absence.

Still, I refused to take any chances. Looking straight at them, I said matter-of-factly, "**There is a darkness within me that none of you are aware of. That darkness will, one day, destroy all of you."** These two sentences were so true. The destruction of their crew was already beginning and this situation is only the _tip of the iceberg_. I do not need to be a seer, to see that they will face stronger enemies if I went back with them.

* * *

A cliché sentence that had appeared many times in the rarely read genre of fiction is, " The heart rarely listens to the brain." I had always prided myself that my heart will never control my brain ever again. Since I was taught a number of hard lessons when my heart made all those decisions. If it's so, why are my feet _not moving? _Why are they not bringing me away from these people and why is my mouth opening to further converse with them?

Even after revealing my 'true' intentions behind the newspaper article, how could they not run away and flee? I truly do not understand. I am going to frame them and yet all Cook-san did, is to angrily demand for my reasons behind these intentions? He was not even deterred by my rebuff to answer him.

Doctor-san's next words were even worse. No, it was wrong to call it mere words. Rather, invite was more fitting. This _invite_ made my heart leaped and brought an immeasurable amount of longing. It threatens to burn my resolution down to nothing is left, not even ashes.

Being on the run for 20 years, I am like a veteran to all injury _or so I thought_. Along with the yearning that these words carried, a sense of hurt followed. This hurt was unlike any other that I had ever experienced. It pained me to refuse his invite to return with him. I would say that it tore my heart into pieces, except that it was another cliché phrase.

* * *

My self-defenses kicked back and numb the distress that is coursing through my body. Shaking my head slowly, as a rejection to both the invite and my yearning. I spoke quietly without any inflection, "**I only knew all of you for a short time but after today, we will never meet each other again." **Yes, when the next deed is done, it will be _impossible_ for me to even see them anymore. While I have no regrets in my decision, I only regret that I can't see this crew travelling to Raftel.

Standing still to avoid any betrayal by the internal turmoil, I forced myself to remain as I am and continued, "**Thank you for being so good to me." **I ignored the small part of me who is traitorously egging me as the words fell from my lips. It was scoffing at the fact that I gained so much. _Yet, when it is the time to show gratitude, all I could utter was this one statement._ This one statement that was not even a small percentage of what they had selflessly given to me. Closing my eyes to block out the sight of their devastated and wide eye expressions, I spun around woodenly to leave.

Cursing myself for my cowardice, I chose to say "_**Goodbye…"**_ while my back was facing them. Clenching my fists, I stiffen my spine, kept my chin pointing forward and took the first steps away from the warmth that had sheltered me for the past few weeks…

* * *

Author's note: Here you go, the promised third chapter :) **Bold words**, in this case, are words that were said in the anime. Thank you for all the views :P No matter, it was new or old viewers :O

Thank you to kirby163 for story alerting xD

Like I warn, don't get too comfortable with this upload speed :] Please review and lemme know how is this chapter, my writing or the story so far :X

Ps:( Is it me only? but I find the way I format my story.. well, it still looks kinda crowded )


	4. Endings and Starts

Disclaimer: One Piece is not mine. Robin is not mine, neither are the Strawhats or the CP9. Heck, the storyline isn't mine either. The only thing that's mine is the gravelly unknown voice and the extra Robin thoughts :D

* * *

Sitting on a bed with my back against the wall, I stretched my legs that were sore from its cross-legged position. I placed the book, which I had been reading the same page for the past hour, to one side. Letting my gaze wander, I tilted my head up to stretch my sore neck muscles. Staring at the ceiling made me thought back to the moment where I bade Cook-san and Doctor-san farewell...

* * *

Focusing on getting one heel in front of the other had become my mantra in defending against the unexplainable urge to return and the pain that is lurking at the edges. In spite of the resounding clicks of my heels and the loud winds that were brewing outside, I could hear the commotion behind me perfectly.

The _splash_ that denotes someone going into the water, logically it is Cook-san although I would not be astonished if it was Doctor-san. The increasing _volume _of "**Robin-chan!"** as Cook–san appears to attempt to cross the canal that hides dangerous currents underfoot.

All of these were fine, my hardened heart could ignore it without much difficulty. The hard part came _after_ this.

* * *

Bringing my knees to myself, I rested my head on my knees and shivered as I recalled the last scream that I had heard. It was a scream that was a mixture of pain, wanting, loneliness and a tinge of anger. It sounded like a plea, an accusation and a cry all rolled into one. It _was_ a friend calling out to another dear friend or more accurately, a _family member_ calling out to another. It was also, **my name** that Doctor-san had cried out, as if I was being forced instead of willingly walking away from them.

Well, I admitted to myself, that part has a grain of truth. However, how did they know? Had my true intentions been found out already? Racking my brain, I could only surmise that they had been guessing that I would not choose to leave them willingly. That they do not know me well enough that I would, if it was the _past _me, betray them in a drop of hat if it was necessary. Or did they know, better than me that I had reformed under their refreshing honesty?

A solid rap on the door tore me away from my soul-searching thoughts. "Nico Robin, be down in five minutes. Your briefing for the night is about to begin." A gravelly voice passed the order.

I sighed and started to prop myself up, muttering under my breath, "And so, it begins…"

* * *

Animals are such queer creatures. Despite being driven to the edge to death, they will never choose to go to death willingly. No matter the species, size or the rank in the food chain. So how come humans were so suicidal?

I supposed that if a mass of shipwrights wants to go up against the CP9, I should not be too concerned about their reasons. After all throughout history, there were all sorts of kings who commit suicide. Ranging from the King of Wu to King Henri. If even the Kings do it, I figured that the shipwrights should be allowed to do it too. Really though, did they hope to overcome their enemies with the advantage of numbers? Even the Strawhats would not break a sweat in lowering their numbers.

I flinched slightly at the direction that my thoughts were taking. The sound of the Den Den Mushi ringing was a welcome distraction. Hidden by the cowl of my cape, I eavesdropped openly at their conversation. I was interested to see how they would distract the crowd gathering in front of the mansion. Not that they would have a problem dealing with these figures but I am quite sure that they prefer to have as little confrontation as possible.

As soon as the words of agreement left my mouth, a large explosion occurred. "Oh, so that's the signal." I thought, unconcerned. "Couldn't they have chosen a less flashy one?" I criticized silently. It will probably accomplish the same results but being an _assassin_, I tend to stick to quiet and smaller methods of distraction. Also, by setting the bomb at the entrance, will they not just give away more clues of their identity?

Leaping off the roof, I let my cold and deadly espionage side take over. To me, these masses of ants were just another obstacle to my dream. And the best way to deal with ants was to _step_ on them.

* * *

Starting to grow weary of the simple elimination of one guy, I strolled to the wall and informed my companion that our target lies ahead.

I got to concede though, that having a guy who can create doors out of walls were partly the reason for our silent success. Although, leaving me to my own devices, I could get the job done all the same. It irks me to have a 'guard dog' following me to ensure that I do not escape from them_. _It is way beyond me, the reason that I will run for. After all, they had torn _it _away from me. There was no more motivation as to why I would run. They did something that even the government wasn't able to.

_They managed to leash the Devil Child. _

* * *

I steadily kept my face blank and flinched inwardly when I realized that the injured guy in front was more concerned with the Strawhats' discredited image then the condition of his body.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and revealed that it was fine to blame them. My companion went on to prattle about their aim and the object they were after. Lowering my head to show that I agreed with his confirmation that the plan is working perfectly, I waited impatiently for the next phase to start. _The sooner this is over, the better._

_

* * *

_

Author's note: I'm sorry. I really intended to update earlier.. but things get in my way. So I present to you the much delayed chapter four :P Also, I'm already catching up to what I have already written. So while my upload speed might be quick, when I reach the end of what I currently have. The update will be very erratic and probably slow. ( I think it will take another two chapters or so though)

Oh yes, please ignore the fact that Robin might not know this Kings at all. Since it might not happen in her history. But it really did happen in our history O.o At least the website I visited said it did. Even though it's my holidays now. My to-do list is not getting any shorter D: Also, I intended to upload a 700+ chapter.. but decided against after a reviewer's comment ._. that brings me to...

Thank You to Rea (Can I call you this? It's easier ) for reviewing and fav-ing. As well as Thank You to Tare-Chan for reviewing and alerting :D

Oh and lemme give a heads-up first. The next chapter will probably be uploaded somewhere by next week or earlier. Since there's a small part not written yet (yea, the flashback). I'm still trying to improve my writing speed too :O So please wait patiently

So yea, please review and tell me how you find the story so far. Is there anything for me to improve on or is there something that I'm terribly failing at. Thanks for all the views so far ^^


	5. Misunderstood

**Disclaimer:** I owe nothing... except the idea of changing pictures plus speeches into words :D

* * *

Confused that my 'guard dog' was going to leave me alone. My eyes narrowed as I heard the command that my 'guard dog' gave. Seriously? Testing me by asking me to kill Iceburg? Making me an accessory of murder so that even if I managed to unleash and run away, I am still implicated? There is not much deliberation needed for this decision. _He can consider it done._ After all, it was not like I was pure to begin with.

Both of us stared at the closing door behind the 'guard dog' and winced at the same time when sounds of fighting could be heard. Swiveling my head back to face the target, I was surprised to see him switched position.

Staring down at the hunched over and panting Iceburg, I thought, "I don't believe that any shipwright would have such a low threshold for pain. So why isn't he doing anything? Why is he so _resigned_ to his fate that he is just sitting there? Is it the pain that his foreman is facing a certain doom now? Or is it something more?"

I was pulled from my musings when Iceburg broke the silence. Slightly amused and alerted by the way he phrased his words, I had to inquire, "**Have we met before?" **

An expected negative to my question soothed my ruffled fur. I let him continued and was slightly startled when he confessed to having my wanted poster in his office so as to remind himself of my looks.

Being instantly nervous, I could not resist quipping if he wanted my autograph. A slight action made me drop the issue and become wary of him reaching into his shirt. I was taken slightly aback when I hear the familiar cock of a pistol. Seeing him pull something brown and so familiar, I decided to make a move.

* * *

Flinging back my cloak, I revealed four hands carrying flintlock pistols and aimed it at him. I welcome the surge of adrenaline and was secretly glad that I had the foresight to sprout extra hands. After all, a _little intimidation_ never hurts anyone.

As I tried to figure out the reason that he will keep my wanted poster, I probed him with a sentence. "**You wanted to kill me?" **

I wasn't too surprised when he gave me an affirmative answer although the reason was shocking. How did he know that I had the means to obliterate the world if I wanted to? It wasn't common knowledge to the public. Unless, he was harboring some dark secret too?

His next few sentences backed up my theory of having an extraordinary man, in front of me, and he is not just someone who the Government had a grudge against. It's probably more complex then that. After all, not everyone knows about the _existence_ of the Poneglyph and even _fewer_ know the crime that was linked to it.

I also can practically count the number of people, using one hand, who knew that I could read it and I absolutely _loathed_ to be reminded of the knowledge this way. Fury pounded through me as he thought that a Poneglyph is _solely_ used to revive some weapon. One would think that if he had so much knowledge, he would at least know that there are two sides to a coin!

* * *

At this point, I could care less about what he knew of. It's good in a way, since it makes me view him as less of a _person_ and more of an _obstacle_. Not that it is needed in the first place although having less a _person_ added to my guilt list is a small good thing.

So when he revealed that he knew about the weapon, CP9 and the 'relationship' that I had with the government, I hardly stirred. I was contented to point all four pistols at him and regard him calmly.

Looking down the barrel at him, he revealed his intentions for putting up the poster. To be honest, I was taken aback slightly as a total stranger in front of me had just laced his words with so much venom.

I listened quietly to his outburst but anger flooded me and drove out any feelings of mercy as he turns out to be yet another person who detested my dream. I could accept the hatred _if_ the reason was that I did something wrong to him.

However, he was like the so-called '**government**_'. __Holding_ me in fault for the knowledge that I possess, _fearing_ me and _throwing_ me to the sharks just because I had it, choosing to _isolate_ me because they knew of the origin and not the journey that I had gone through.

* * *

As much as I was furious at the guy in front of me, I was uneasy when he grew stronger with each outburst. Moving back, as the barrel loomed closer. I was lost as how to stop his flood of words. While I had no problem hurting him, I was curious about him. He just confessed that he held the blueprints to Pluton. That makes us kindred spirits, no?

So why does he want me dead so badly? Doesn't he see that he is in the same league as me? That he should be as guilty as me? Or he feels that holding a blueprint isn't the _same_ as having the knowledge to read the instructions?

_Bullshit._

My irritation flared at the last thought and rocketed with the sentence that he shouted, "**The only thing stopping me is the fact that as long as you're alive, the weapon may still be revived!" **

The visible uncomfort that was shown on my face instantly twisted into a sneer. Were you trying to shove the blame onto me? By making me the pathetic excuse to justify your reason for not burning the blueprints? Don't delusion yourself, _you have as much to answer for as me. _Don't tell yourself that the difference is that I'm a recognised criminal and you are not.

* * *

Sensing that he was about to pull the trigger, I sprouted a hand to thwart him. Sprouting two more hands to disable him, the hands pushed his head back, giving a satisfying, "Crick!" After he fell on the floor, restraining him was easy.

While my anger did ebb away when I mishandled him. It hasn't completely vanished yet. Straddling him as a mean to hold him down as well as to get closer, I placed the pistol at his forehead and cocked it to get his attention.

Glaring at him, I questioned him calmly, "**Is that all you have to say before you die?" **Truly, it was one of the worst last words that I had ever heard from my _prey_.

Feeling him breathe heavily, I pointed out the logical fact. The fact, that _nothing_ will be accomplished even if he managed to get rid of me. Since, the blueprints would still be stolen and an ancient weapon would still be revived.

He replied me through the revelation that we were the one who fell in a trap. I was really surprised that he still had this card to play. After all, not many would choose to enrage the CP9 any further and it is not like he's ignorant of their capabilities...

* * *

**Author's note:** Hmm... Looks like I managed to get this chapter out earlier...Although, it could be earlier but the prev two days were spent searching for a juz released album :O I can't really say that I like this chapter, since it gave me many troubles. Especially the part where Iceburg 'launched' his counter-attack. That last 500+ words were an important part. Since, it is the link between the flash-back and the sorta present shown by the anime. So I paid special attention to it. (It's so creepy when I keep playing the part where she abused his spine. It's like (sentence)(sentence) (sound effect) **CRICK!** (thud) ._. ) I was kinda unnerved..

Anyway, I'm thrilled to have recieved two more reviews :D Now the number of reviews have exceeded my chapters! (not counting this one) Haha, thanks a lot for these reviews... xD

Thank you Andara for reading despite being busy. Thank you Rea, for reviewing a second time :D Glad to see that some parts of my story are nice enough to be mentioned in a review ^^ Thanks Ophelie deCanards and Andara for alerting and fav-ing respectively 3

Thanks for all the views that I had recieved :P It makes me extremely happy to see it rising ^^ Do tell me if there's any mistakes, since I've this extremely bad habit of releasing my chapters in the wee hours (It's 2am now D:). So my proof-read is not as fine as reading it the next morning.

I'm sorry to announce but it will probably be about 5-7 days before the next chapter. I'm hoping to do the flashback justice. So I'm struggling to find the link to make it go _click_. I can't really promise that the next chapter would have more feelings since I'm not as decent at writing feelings. BUT I can promise that it will be greater then this one :P

So, please review and tell me how's this chapter. Thank you o/

Ps:( I know Robin would probably curse under that kind of circumstances. I juz can't find an elegant swear word... ) .


	6. Life

**Disclaimer:I don't own One Piece or any of the characters, actions, words that were bold in here.**

**

* * *

**

As expected, a Den Den call came in from _him_, telling the rest to convene at the bedroom. It is probably to wring the information from _this thing_ here. I had no issues with the rest of them meeting here although the last command had me struggling.

I wanted to shoot him, to end his life right now. As both a mercy act and a selfishness on my part. He had insulted so many of the things that I held dear. And it's not like I had many of those in the first place. On the other hand, the CP9 will probably manhandle him so much that he wished he were dead.

I got to admit though, that I admire him for coming up with such a plan. It had such a low chance of success but he found the courage to carry on with it and rebel against them. _Even if it was just a small act. _

Furthermore, his Foreman _trusted_ him enough to carry out his instructions without any questions.

* * *

I got to give it to him though, he had very nice conviction for someone who was breathing heavily. Not that having a strong determination helps. Since all assassins were required to learn the mechanics of torturing someone to the brink of death. I had full confidence that the CP9 will be able to get the required information out from him.

I was amused when he started saying that he will kill me if I was going to go ahead and translate the Poneglyph for the Government. After all, the only instrument of murder laid a few metres away from his reach. I, also clearly, had the upper hand in this situation. So why would he _still _be so determined?

The desire of letting him know that the Poneglyph was not only destructive, made me revealed a small part of my goal. I hope that by having it viewed in a different light, his hatred would lessen.

And…then…maybe he could-

I interrupted my own thought process, not wanting to invest too much hope in such a situation. Informing him that I wasn't after the Poneglyph to revive the weapon seemed to placate him a bit. Getting comfortable with the conversation despite the situation, I continued.

"**I just want to know our history."** This off-hand remark was a big mistake though. He replied with so much ferocity that I was unsettled and let him rose a bit. Apparently, I had hit a sore spot.

* * *

Willing myself to look at those furious and _accusing_ eyes, I nearly missed his next sentence. "**There's no guarantee that something so dangerous won't be used for evil! " **

His words ring true but _nothing ventured, nothing gained. _There's no way of knowing for sure that it will be used for evil. Nothing is set in stone. There's nothing in the world that is firmly rooted in Good or Evil. It only depends on how Man uses it.

_And Man always abused the uses of such items…_

Besides, if you weigh the _probable_ bad consequences with the good useful knowledge waiting to be gained, I'm quite sure I made the right choice. Even, if the right choice does occasionally frustrate me. Not that I'm going to let him know about it.

The next sentence he spoke was one that was spoken to me countless times. I had already lost count of how many times people wanted me dead. The only difference this time round, was that he wanted me dead not because of some _personal_ _gain_. Rather, it was because I was a danger to the world, the world that he loved dearly.

I simply had no idea how to reply to that. Yet one of the rare times that I was rendered speechless. What answer can I give to this selfless intent? It doesn't feel right _not _to answer such a conviction. However, even with all the knowledge that I had amassed, an answer failed to come to my mind.

All I could do was to stare at him, wondering when would this painful flow of words stop. I was _actually_ hoping that the other members would arrive soon, that this mission would be over.

Then I wouldn't have to deal with the internal and silent rebukes, pangs of guilt, accusing looks, hurtful words and constant thinking.

I might, _also finally_, be able to put down this heavy burden and rest.

* * *

Partly confused at the many thoughts that my mind had, I opted to stay silent and chose to wait. I'm not too sure as to what I'm waiting for. Perhaps I'm waiting for the ceiling to suddenly collapse and snuff out my life, for an enemy to come by and kill me or for a heart attack to suddenly happen to this, healthy me.

Or, to be truthful, I was waiting for _th-_

Cutting off that train of thought before it goes off to somewhere that I liked, I returned my full attention to the seething guy in front of me.

Unfortunately, the previous period was the _calm before the storm._

_

* * *

_

I can pretend that I understood the reason behind this outburst and I'm even willing to let it slide. Even with the fact that he insulted my dream and ideals. When he himself is in a no better position.

What I couldn't ignore and even try to comprehend was his next infuriating words.

"**You're still pursuing that history, even after witnessing the fate of the Ohara demons?" **

A jolt of surprise ran through me and I stopped processing after the mention of **Ohara**. How did he know about that town? Could it be he had visited the town before, if so did he visit the library before or could he _was _an inhabitant of the town before? Did he know of the Professors at that time? _Did he know my mother?_ A thousand questions ran through my mind before my mind managed to connect the dots.

Instantly, my eyebrows furrowed and fury started to course through my veins as I realized the _other_ reason that he might have heard of that town before.

Of course, everyone ate up the _Government's_ explanation of the situation. The lies that, they had fabricated were flawless. Seeing that the _only_ survivor would probably be jailed for slander, if she had told anyone the truth.

And obviously, if he were one of the masses of people who had read that article, he would call them by that _label_.

My ire kept rising as I recalled the faux article that the _Government_ had released. The article that stained the hard work of all the researchers, no matter if it was past or present ones, related or not. These research papers don't just appear overnight, they were the cultivation of a large amount of sweat, blood and tears!

_And a single measly news article destroyed it all._

Unable to keep a lid on my wrath any longer, I glowered at this _thing_ in front of me. "**What do you know about Ohara?"** I practically shouted those words at him, wanting to do it ever since I had heard discussions carried out by people around me. _No one_, not a single person knew what went on in Ohara and they were happily defiling the name.

Who gave them the right to do that? To spin wilder stories of a town that they do not even know about? To declare in loud tones of the misdeeds of the town? Everything links back to the so-called '_World Government'. _Who were portrayed as heroes saving the public from the '_demonic people of Ohara'._

In my fury, I tightened my grip on the gun's handle, trying to find a semblance of the cool calm that I was known for. For all that the gun shook, it was to no avail, my calm fled. Chased by all the bittersweet memories that the name brought.

* * *

As my anger fled, all that was left was _weariness_. Bone-deep weariness of the life I'm leading, of the struggle to survive and the painful memories and words from everyone.

My shoulders slouched and my head bowed as I became tired of putting on a mask. I gave up reining my feelings, gave up in trying to hide from the world what I truly felt. Opening my mouth to utter the words, I was instantly aware of the consequences.

"**You have no idea how much I've suffered at the hands of the World Government!" **

I felt like I had aged tremendously with the confession. While I had known that it was true, saying it out loud gave it more power, made it more real. The action made these words, an inescapable fact of my life.

For a few seconds, my heart soared as I thought he actually believed my words without any suspicion. Giving me the same free trust that Luffy had given me.

However, as his tone grew harsher, reality forced my heart to be grounded and reminded me that Luffy was one of a kind. It reminded me that the whole world out there is jaded, except for a boy with a straw hat.

Chiding myself silently as the track of my thoughts unavoidably led back to the Strawhats again, I raised my head and looked straight on into the accusing black irises of my prey-turned-interrogator.

I stated clearly and monotonously, "**Because I still have a wish to fulfill, even if I lose everything."** I chose to release my Devil Fruit powers to ease a part of my mind from maintaining my 'limbs'. After all, if Death chose to claim me now, I won't mind at all. My death is an overdue charge anyway.

I moved my hands to push myself off his body, feeling the need to pace around the room. My body was stringent from all the tension, hopes, wishes and feelings that I had. And walking around would help to burn some of it off.

Moving a slight distance away, I started my explanation of the true story behind my actions.

* * *

"**If you do that, your life is over!"** I sighed as he pointed out the obvious. It's not that I don't value my freedom but I rather give it up if I can prevent history from repeating itself. To stop running away from the Government was a very easy condition for a greater reward.

"**Why would a woman on the run for twenty years agree to that?" **I mentally shrugged at his words. Why not? A dog will ravage even the gentlest owner if it was backed into a corner, a human will turn to cannibalism if that was what it takes to survive, so why wouldn't a fugitive stop fleeing Justice?

"**A Buster Call?" **It was not surprising that you had never heard of this Government technique at all. After all, the Government wouldn't let you know that it can alter a town's existence at anytime. They don't like to be feared, they prefer admiration from the public.

It wasn't the force of the fleet that bothered me, rather it was the person who gave the authority was the one that ticked me off. _Aokiji…._ I supposed that my fate would forever be entangled with his, so even if we miraculously managed to avoid the Buster Call, we still will have him to deal with.

_Therefore, no, I don't mind that I had to sacrifice my freedom to avoid un-needed bloodshed and future betrayal._

"**I was able to stay on the run these past twenty years because I had nobody to protect. I betrayed others and used them as shields. " **I finally revealed, my method for avoiding capture. It was a simple solution, one that even a child could think of. However, as jaded adults, they wouldn't believe it till someone actually confirmed for them. Besides, they were pirates themselves, betrayal and deceit is part and parcel of their life.

"**But now, there's no way I can do that anymore." **The Strawhats, I simply owed them too much to abandon them to a grisly fate.

* * *

"**The life I threw away…" **I will never forget the day that Luffy rescued me from my soon-to-be-sandy burial.

While he hoists me up, I was mildly surprised at his fast recovery, until I remembered that his power came from his need to help people. People regardless the fact that they were unrelated to him, enemies or just simply acquaintances. He rescued me too, this broken woman who seek death. It still amuses me, as I thought of his reply. _He chose denial over acceptance of my refusal to be rescued._

"**The happiness that I had forgotten…" **Being at a Strawhats' celebratory party for the first time, I was surprised that they really _enjoyed_ themselves. And shared the feelings with anyone. Not giving a care to what the future holds and just enjoyed in the _now. _

Looking at the sight, it warmed my heart. The cold heart, which had long ago stop searching for the good in this evil world, finally shook its frost away after a 20-yearlong blizzard.

"**The dream that I had given up on…"** I had thought that my trail had gone cold with the unveiling of Alablasta's Poneglyph.

A black hole of despair threatened to swallow me at that time. While I was contemplating suicide, even in the Strawhats' company, I never actually expected to wander back onto the trail. Shockingly, not only did I manage to find a Poneglyph in Skypiea, I also found words that led to the next clue. It made the dying embers of finding my dream flare up again.

Lost in my memories, I turned away, not wanting to show my tears. They were the ones who returned all those to me. _The small crew gave it all back_, only expecting my company in return. Sadly, I can't fulfill that small exchange. I can't even keep the unspoken promise to them…

* * *

His next question, "**So, what's your wish?"** made me feel like laughing bitterly. After all these, if he still suspects that I had a selfish wish, I must have had a very wicked public persona.

I stopped and wondered for a moment, what answer was he _expecting_?

Since I had tread on the path, I might as well see to the end of it. I bit my lip and clenched my teeth before turning around. Proclaiming confidently and almost accusingly, "**To allow the other six Strawhats to leave the island unharmed!"**

There, was this the answer that you least expected? Did it really not cross your mind that I might choose them _over _me?

Apparently, I did manage to blindside him with my wish. After a second of silence, he began to test my resolve. "**That involves resurrecting the weapon. Don't you care about what will happen to the World?" **I did profess my dislike for resurrecting it _but _that doesn't mean that I won't do it. Besides, the World had only treated me harshly. Everyone that behaved kindly to me was dead. That was the fate that awaits the Strawhats if I had gone against their conditions, if I chose them.

Making eye contact with him, I pronounced the words angrily and to the point. "**I do not!" **I don't give a _damn_ to the World if the only reasons for my survival were swallowed by the darkness. The World itself never gave me a reason before, to view it in a neutral or good light.

Standing resolutely and firmly in my decision, I stared down at him, not breaking the eye contact. Daring him to shoot me, to do away with me.

_To prove that my image of the World is correct…_

* * *

**Author's note: **Firstly, I would like to offer my prayers and condolences to Japan and other countries who were affected by the recent natural disasters.

Secondly, sorry for the delayed chapter D: I was reluctant to break up this chapter (hence the increased amount of words.) Yet, it wasn't done to my satisfaction. Some parts flowed easier, while others had to be written over several days. I do hope that you will enjoy this chapter all the same. I'm not particularly happy with some parts but I couldn't find a better way to express it.

Next, I think I will be updating weekly from now on. As other obligations are starting to make itself known. Anyway, it will probably be about 2-3 more chapters before I bring this story to an end. I didn't intend to write Enies Lobby Arc in the first place. :/

Lastly, thank you Rea for reviewing again :) Your review really made me happy xD And thank you Ruby890 for fav-ing ^^ Thanks to **you** for reading my story :]

Ps: I'm currently reaching 8.5k words... Woots~


	7. Reality

Finally, I managed to find a way to get past type 2 error. Wished I went and find the solution three days ago T.T

**Disclaimer: Don't own One Piece. I don't D:**

**

* * *

**

While his grip on the gun shook uncontrollably, as the minutes passed, he seemed _lesser_ like a guy who is out for my blood. Each time his grip slackened, he would shake his head and tightened it again, giving me a fierce look before slowly losing it as he found another reason not to kill me in my gaze. Then, he will seemed to remember of the deeds that he had read before and repeat the cycle.

I stood still, in that stance, not wanting to influence him on his choice.

The internal conflict went on for about a minute until he heaved a big sigh and let go of the pistol. He, then, ran his hand through his hair frustratedly before burying his face in both of his palms. As the pistol fell, so did the burden on the atmosphere, lightening it considerably. I relaxed my stance and took a step forward. Opening my mouth to say something, I was _interrupted_ by the turning of the doorknob.

* * *

Panic _spiked_ and I instantly confiscated the fallen article and turned it against him. Taking a deep breath to compose myself, I scrapped together a mask of indifference. Seeing the prideful man with a confused expression, I wanted to help and offer some words. Freezing for a moment, I wondered.

What does one _usually_ says in this situation? Shedding some light on the situation or giving him an idea of the upcoming torture won't work. It's not that I am sugarcoating for him but I believe he have an inkling on both matters.

Giving him a sentence of comfort will be the best choice in this case but it feels _fake_ and is useless. I doubt that he would appreciate the sentiment. With the doorknob moving millimeters each millisecond, I gave up thinking and said the first thing that came to mind.

Unfortunately, all that the adrenaline could come up with was _biting_ words. "Don't mention the talk that transpired between us, if not…" I trailed off as I found out, from years of threatening, that the human brain usually fill in the blanks better than any tangible threat.

The awkward silence between us grew even longer and stranger as he tipped his head up, with both regret and _understanding_ in his eyes. Both of us knew that it was an empty threat yet one that will be carried out. He knew that the earlier interaction, I was stripped raw and was speaking truly from my heart. While he was starting to views matters from my perspective, he still can't help but understand that he had just lost his only chance at getting rid of a dangerous woman.

What was done _is _done though. There was no way to turn back the clock and take all the words or emotions back. Offering him a small and shaky smile at him, that quickly vanishes, I couldn't help but wistfully wished that I had met him under a set of different circumstances.

I knew, _for a fact_, that he would have been on the list of 'people that I secretly admired and hoped to be'. It is a short but sweet list.

* * *

The door swung in and the Koala slipped in. A sharp gasp escaped Iceburg and I turned to see what had spooked the calm man. It seems like the door had been left opened on purpose. Through the crack, _a pool of blood_ and a tangle of bodies can be seen.

Iceburg stiffened as he realized that the people outside were the ones who wanted to protect him. He squared his shoulders and started to clench his fists. As the temperature started to rise, I glared at him hoping that he will get my _unspoken_ message.

Ignoring me, he started to make a move to get up, when he suddenly _froze_. Looking him quizzically, I made a move to step forward to check his condition. As it turns out, the 'thing' that petrified him, reached out to brush against me.

* * *

A chill ran down my spine as I felt a strong malevolent aura approaching. I turned towards the doors quickly and my heart started pounding loudly. As the footsteps grew closer, all I could hear was the rushing of my blood. As the aura _trapped_ me within its web, making my struggles useless, it awakened the primal urge within me.

"Move! Flee! Run! Get away!" The animal side of my brain was shrieking in fear. The urge to flee grew so strong that my muscles _trembled_ from the effort to stay put.

* * *

Whose bloodlust was this? How did he or she manage to stifle it completely, earlier? My mouth ran dry as the footsteps stopped outside. Taking a step back _purely_ out of fear, I watched the door swing in. Bull strode in, with Skull and Lady behind.

Knowing that it was an enemy that possessed, the high level of bloodlust did not help matters. However, my fear and urge to flee started to ebb away slowly, at the knowledge that the bloodlust can be dealt with. It might be impossible to do away with it but at the very least, I _knew_ the person who flaunted it.

Narrowing my eyes at Bull, who happened to be the one giving off the aura, I swallowed drily before attempting to pull myself together. He took a cursory glance around the room before lowering the output of bloodlust to a bearable level. When he tightened his hold over the aura, I tried not to let an audible sigh of relief escape me.

* * *

The hat that he carried piqued my interest. Why would he bring a hat along? Was it a _war spoil_ or was there a deeper meaning to it? Did it belong to one of Iceburg's closer co-worker?

I blinked twice as I heard the flapping of wings. Looking at the pidgeon soar down to land on Bull's shoulder, I blinked again before switching my attention to our captive. Masking the shock that I felt about Iceburg's response, I strode to stand away from the group. My forehead creased slightly as I can't understand why would such a small creature make Iceburg's face drained of blood. It wasn't like it was a _bloodthirsty and zombified_ bird...

* * *

**Author's note: **Firstly, sorry for the short chapter. Something regarding my school life cropped up and it requires my full attention for the moment. I did, however, post my progress so far. Or the progress, that I'm satisfied for the moment. Did write more but it requires more revising. The matter will take my whole attention till 4th April. (GMT+8 time). I will do my best to get a chapter up soon after that.

Once again, I apologize for the delay for the next chapter. Please accept my deep regret for this delay. :'(

On happier note, a big **Thank You** to Rea and Tare-chan for reviewing :D **T****hanks** to sajiu93 for faving~ Thank you to all the people who read this story and/or are following too (: Also, you might notice that, in this (short) chapter, it is mostly stuff that did not happen in the anime. Lemme know, if it went fine. Because, I felt that having a chapter on how the CP9 enters, will be interesting. Strangely, writing out a scene that did not happen is easier then writing one which happens O.o


	8. Meeting

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece :D or I would have speed up the current anime arc, I can't wait for them to reunite! Where's Robin in the current manga arc too? A few glimpse ain't enough!**

* * *

I noted with a lack of interest that all of them had been working undercover in Water 7 for five years. The names that I had of the CP9, in the past, were different. Either it was outdated or they took on different names for these assignments. I would not be surprised either way, since it was a tactic that was commonly used.

After connecting with Iceburg, feelings of pity stirred as the truth was revealed. He knew the three of them _personally._ I can relate to a certain extent, the feeling of being betrayed by someone close to you.

A small thanks is given as I haven't had the misfortune of finding out the truth about someone who had _pretended _to be your close friend for a few years. The longest that I had ever record of, was only two months and till date, it stings when I recall the memories that I had with them. I couldn't even start to imagine how it is for Iceburg.

It is a mean tactic, the one that they had chosen. They could have gone on and forced the truth out of him while still masked but they chose to rattle Iceburg's psyche by dealing this blow.

* * *

Standing there impassively, I was lost in thoughts as the other members of CP9 pull the truth out of Iceburg. I could only sigh softly at their choice of uncovering the truth.

It was a wicked method, using the target's own body's natural instinct to betray themselves. While it was not foolproof, only someone who could control his or her breathing could slip by. Sadly, not many people bothered to learn the skill. I wanted to warn him earlier but the circumstances were not kind to either of us.

Thinking of the proceedings that went on earlier, unease started to creep up onto me. I was not sure as to why I did _that_. Maybe it was a drive to let someone know the truth, to justify to at least one person the reasons for my foolishly pray that it somehow gets back to the Strawhats so that they won't hate me forever?

I gave myself a mental throttle.

"There is no way that Iceburg is going to survive this night. So extinguish that flicker of hope. Don't set yourself up for a hard fall…", I chastised myself silently.

* * *

I was so drawn into my thoughts that the cracking of the wall, finally alerted me to the possibility that these room's occupants were not the only ones left conscious in this mansion.

As the door and the wall cracked open simultaneously, a loud bellow of "**Where's Robin?" **by a very familiar albeit childish voice made me blink twice.

A surprised "**Luffy?"** slipped out, in response, before I could regain my mask. Mentally, I berated myself for the usage of his name. It will do no good to get close to them _now!_

Lu-, Captain-san should not be here, no, not only him. Navigator-san, Doctor-san and Swordsman-san should not be here too! What the hell were they doing? I knew that the Strawhats were very kind and selfless in helping but this is _too _ridiculous!

* * *

As I listened to their words, their true reason for coming here dawned upon me.

They are searching for the little girl who was pushed away too many times. Finding the young teenager whom many had despised. Seeking for the woman who betrayed selfishly.

_Me!_

I opened my mouth but I was at a loss of words by the revelation of their true intentions. _Why were they still chasing me?_ I thought that I had made my stand very clear? Irritation started to bubble as frustrated thoughts mixed with the detestable feelings of relief and helplessness begun to appear.

* * *

Oh, yet another person who taste the bitter flavor of betrayal. I sighed in resignation. Unfortunately for all of us involved, this word is in the dictionary.

I wonder, at times, what happens if we never gave certain 'things' names? Would they exist then? _Demon. Treachery. Family. Friends._ If they were erased from people minds, could my life have turned out differently?

A smile tugged at my lips as I erased my previous thought, "If my wish had came true each time I thought of that conundrum, I would have never met these wonderful companions."

* * *

Not the first time that I was thankful for my long practice of masking my feelings, I managed to put on a blank and stony face as Captain-san nearly got killed. Though I find it downright dumb that he is almost dead because he tried to save Paulie. I'm used to his actions, that is his way of life, _wanting to save everyone including the enemy._

As the whole room's attention shifted to me, I rearranged my expression to a displeased one. As much as I understand and love their actions, it was _messing_ up with my plans.

Luffy wanted to know the reason for my departure. Nami points out the obvious flaw in my reasoning. The Government is waiting to grasp the blueprints. CP9, or more specifically Lucci, is yearning for blood. _All _of them are starting to get on my nerves.

Unable to contain my irritation at the situation, the words that flow out next had a noticeable tinge of it.

* * *

"**You are really unreasonable. I had already said goodbye to Cook-san and Doctor-san, don't tell me they didn't pass the message."** I'm quite sure that they will let the other Strawhats know. It would be unlike this close-knit group to let things like last words to be secreted away, not to be shared.

Knowing that I have come down to my last resort, I flung it out, hoping that they will leave me alone.

I divulged to them that I had a wish that would be unfulfilled if I was with them. I knew that there was no way they would know what was my _true_ wish. After all, I haven't informed them nor shown any signs of being attached to it.

I doubt that they would _not _think the worst of me. After all, they do not know me well enough _and _the only information that they do have of was my goal. So naturally, they would link it to me being cruel and not look beyond the flimsy excuse that I gave.

Not that they don't stand a chance of learning about it but it is _clearly_ shutting down as I speak.

* * *

Leave it to the ever-pragmatic swordsman to pick up my wicked intention and to ask the most cutting question. Thankfully, I anticipated it and managed to steel myself. Replying him with a non-answer, I was proud that my voice hardly shook. It didn't betray me, not one bit.

A hoarse whisper drew my attention and fear started to swirl up, as Iceburg was clearly willing to betrayed my 'trust'. Fear _fueled_ my words, tone and actions to be harsher. A collective gasp came from the Strawhats and while a part of me regretted for the harshness. Apparently, it managed to accomplish the matter that I failed miserably in.

_It drove them further away from me._

* * *

**Author's note:** Sorry for the late and short chapter. I got too side-tracked by other stuff. Forgive me (: A new chapter should be coming soon in a week's time. And it will be longer, I promise :D The reason I am not going to write Enies Lobby is because I have a fickle mind. It tends to jump around story ideas. So it's kinda hard to leash it to one story and starting multiples will probably overwhelm me.

Thanks **Tare-Chan**, **Rea** and **Ruby890** for reviewing (: You people brighten my day :P I'm grateful for all the views :D


	9. Loss

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I had never owned One Piece before. Then again, if I did...I would never had came up with such an awesome opening!**

* * *

"**I won't let anyone stop me." **These words were true. I will not let common sense or self-preservation prevent me from protecting this young crew. Neither will any outside influences hinder me. I don't need nor seek their anger, when they find out the truth.

Wait, why _when_? Isn't it _if_?

Trying to figure out my mind's thinking, I resisted running my fingers through my hair. Giving a mental sigh, my shoulders drooped slightly. Who am I kidding? If the crew can rescue a whole village and defeat a cruel ruler for a crewmate's sake, I'm quite certain that they the truth will fall upon their ears eventually. It might be days, months or years but the truth will be uncovered and spreaded.

While I am glad that they would find my cold-bloodiness horrifying, I'm let down that none of them took me seriously. I did mention to them about my specialty in the past.

_It's not like you let them come close to you…._ My inner voice interrupted the self-pity bout that I was falling into.

After a short silence, the delusions start trickling in. They are desperately trying to understand this absurd situation. With confused expressions, Captain-san took the lead.

"**What are you doing? Do you mean what you're saying?" **I find myself sighing quietly again. It seems I had been doing it a lot for today.

I briefly ponder on the words that I had spoken to them since I had joined. When had I not been serious when I spoke to them? I was also _genuine_ when I offer my slightly horrifying observations.

As for the former sentence, I am still not fully positive about my actions. Which is a rare issue, all on its own. However, even if I can't comprehend my actions, there isn't any _wrongness_ about continuing it. Despite being a methodical person, there are times that I trust my well-honed instincts in making decisions.

And yes, this is one of the _times_.

"**Robin, what's wrong with you? Are you really our enemy now?" **If not for all the eyes and attention upon me, I would have giggled merrily. Chopper is a doctor through and through. Even the way he questioned could be used in a medical examination.

I wonder if he had knew the whole story, what would be his diagnosis? Will he have drawn the same conclusion as mine? There is nothing 'wrong' about me physically or mentally. The problem laid somewhere else. It is the fact that I had let the _Strawhats burrow and nest in my heart_. That was the part that went wrong.

An assassin can never form ties with anyone. Not even the one who taught him. The reason is simple, without ties, there will be no weakness that the enemy can exploit. This unspoken rule is _double_ reinforced for me. By being an assassin as well as a fugitive, I cannot let anyone get close to me. I should start to betray and leave them as soon as the first sign of trouble appears.

Theoretically, that is.

If only plans worked out the way you want in reality. Instead, not only had I not leave, I also went on and chose them over me. _Logically_, it doesn't make any sense. Then again, the methods used to deal with the Strawhats hardly are. They don't behave or react like most people. They don't even do things the normal way!

If being an enemy will let them dislodge their noses from my trail, let them heal faster and cut all links to me. By all means, _they can regard me as one. _I will bear it, once more. I am never hurtful about the deeds that I had did till now but this simple act of having the label branded upon me, is different. It makes my spirits dropped, makes me hesitate and pushes a knife into my heart.

Standing there was all I could do after I heard all of their accusations. Instead of fighting back the mental pain, I let it flow over me. At least, pain, I can stand. It does good, covering the guilt and desire of spilling the beans. Yet, a small part of me, still yearn to see them smiling. To see their reactions, had I concluded the CP9 possible to beat. If everything was a joke and I replied no to Chopper's last question.

_Luffy will reach up and fiddle with his straw hat before turning to me with a big grin. Proclaiming proudly that he knew I wouldn't have went over so easily._

_ Chopper will pump the air excitedly as I approach them and run forward to hug me. He will look up with undisguised happiness and chatter happily, "Robin, glad to have you back!"_

_ Nami will heave a big sigh of relief before scolding me for giving her such a big scare. She would also threaten to fine me if I ever pull off such a prank again._

_ Zoro will give a small smile at my return and probably offer a fake snarky remark._

Underneath my cloak, my left hand moved and gripped my upper right arm tightly, wanting to stop the trembling that is starting to affect me. To stop it before it becomes visible. As if sensing my resolve was wavering, Lucci broke in and diverted their attention. _This_, I'm grateful to him.

* * *

Lucci's interference reminded me of the matter at hand and the resolve I made. Pushing back the words that were at the tip of my tongue, I made a half turn and faced the window. It is not the wisest escape route but it is a manageable one.

Listening to Lucci laying out the unspoken plans, I wanted to object vehemently. This is going against our agreement! It's fine if it was escaping a burning mansion but having them get past _four_ members to escape, is downright impossible!

On a closer examination, Lucci know that I can melt into the shadows at _any_ time. He won't try something so foolhardy, right? Or would he? I simply don't have enough information to see the route that he will take.

It's an understatement if I say I'm feeling very disturbed now. Distress isn't even near the degree of the level. The very fact that I am here, trying to convince myself that a cold-blooded assassin won't double-cross me. The whole situation and thoughts were just _laughable_.

Yet, I'm helpless. Helpless like I had never ever been, during the run for twenty years. In every situation that I had ever been, there were alternatives. Unfavorable but possible options, one that I can take if I was backed into a corner.

Unfortunately, the time to make choices has passed. It ditched me and ran to a colder man. A man who can push his close friend of five years, closer to the edge of the cliff. Someone, who never questions his definition of Justice. A person that never waver from the path that he was placed on.

I had to trust him. Trust his word and looking from all angles, it is a foolish decision. The choice is out of my hands though. It is a conclusion that was borne out of necessity.

* * *

Is it too much to hope that the Strawhats will leave the matter as it is? I groaned uncharacteristically, when Luffy refuses to let me go. I think if someone was to ask me which animal resembles the Strawhats, my immediate answer will be _Bulldog_. A stubborn bulldog which refuses to release his grip on a deformed bone, even if other perfectly shaped bones surrounds it.

I wish, for just once that they will stop haunting me. Their pleading is hard to listen to. It chips constantly at the wall that was hastily built.

Unable to take anymore battering at my defenses, I chose to make a move first. Bringing up my cowl to avoid the recognition outside, I interacted familiarly with Lucci to let that unspoken message be transmitted. _I'm one of them now._

I bade farewell to the Strawhats yet again and started walking to the window. Without me there, hopefully, the CP9 won't be so eager to hurt the Strawhats and will focus more on finding Franky.

A desperate last attempt by Iceburg went unheard amidst the chaos. I might have burden the poor dying man by letting the cat out of the bag but what is done is done. I cannot go back in time to reverse it.

Behind me, sounds of fighting and surprise could be heard. Shaking my head imperceptibly, I wondered why does Captain-san not learn. It's practically impossible to defeat CP9 at their level of skill now. Not only had the CP9 learnt all of the skills necessary to toughen their body, they also possessed the cold-blood required of all assassins.

Not wanting to turn my head, I listened intently to the battle. A frustrated yell from Captain-san, when he couldn't seem to inflict any damage on his opponent. A command from Swordsman-san, as he noticed that Rankyaku is a slicing attack. A shout of wonder from Doctor-san, seeing that Blueno seemingly floated in the air. A shriek of fear from Navigator-san, when Rankyaku impacted. The chinks of metal as Swordsman-san challenged Kaku.

I heard enough to know that they were still alive from the first skirmish with the CP9. I took the first few steps to reach out to the window. I know that they won't give up but perhaps with me out of their reach, they will back off. _Maybe._

* * *

Opening the window, it is fitting that the night air is cold. After all, it is the temperature that I was most accustomed with. I drew in the familiar air to rebuild my tattered defenses.

Placing my hand at the windowsill to boost myself up, I flinched as I hear the desperation of Luffy's voice. Listening to the words that he spoke, I sighed inaudibly and turned around to firmly state my last words.

"**No, we are finished. We will never see each other again."** A note of finality seeped into my words.

Zoro's words came as a surprise and I lingered at the windowsill, torn between the warmth of the crew and the coldness of the night. Luffy's determined battle cry snapped me out of my indecisiveness and I faced the window yet again. Wanting to be on my way before the CP9 withdrew their mercy.

Hopping on the ledge, I gasped as the sounds of pierced flesh travelled to me. I gritted my teeth and my hands curled up, why are they still here? Don't they _understand_ the simple fact that I'm leaving? That I don't wish to be a part of them anymore and they will get hurt if they insist on following me? How did I end up with such naïve friends bent on hunting me down? I could only hope fervently that, _that_ is the extent of the injuries they will face tonight. Casually looking at the town in front of me, I took a ragged deep breath, counting to ten and then releasing it.

_I really despise this feeling of helplessness._

Unfortunately for Captain-san, Rob Lucci isn't as passive as the other members. I listened and interpreted that he had moved and intercepted Catain-san's headlong charge. Perhaps, he knew or sensed that this boy out of all the other Strawhats is the one who is most capable of swaying my resolve. After all, how can he hold the Captain position if he isn't the one who fires our determination?

"**Go, Nico Robin" **An underlying threat accompanied the command that Lucci gave. The threat rings clear in my ears. _Go or I won't be responsible for my actions._

Taking one step into nothingness, which reflects my heart's state perfectly, I let myself go…

* * *

Sprouting a line of hands to land on the ground safely, I glanced around for a grasp of the situation. Indeed, it doesn't take long for the shipwrights to notice the added presence and head towards me.

Grimacing slightly, I prepared to flee the scene. After witnessing and participating in the brutality that happened in Iceburg's bedroom, I don't feel like causing more injuries for today.

While running, I used my devil fruit power to slow them down. I might not want to inflict more damage but neither did I turn to a pacifist. I do spare a moment to stop and glance around for my two 'guards'. I wasn't worried that they will not find me. I mean, how can they not, when I have this group of people out for my blood? I'm more concerned that they will harm these shipwrights.

Deciding to slip away before the 'guards' decide that they need to intervene, I sprouted hands on each person to cover their eyes and slipped behind some foliage that were close by. I release my hold quickly before they could harm me.

* * *

Striding through the town with the two silent 'bodyguards', I'm slightly curious as to the whereabouts of Cook-san and Long Nose-kun. They aren't back at the room meaning that they had other matters to attend to.

Sa- Cook-san, I can sort of understand. Seeing that he is the type to walk the path that he chose and obeys only when he sees the point of it. Whereas Long Nose-kun, he is the type to tag along with the majority of the crew. Unless, they had a huge disagreement. I instantly dismissed the thought. It will be very coincidental that the crew will lose _two _of their members in this town.

A question interrupts me from my musing. Looking up at the shorter guard on my right, I inquired monotonously, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch it. Can you repeat the question?"

Flinching slightly from my tone. He repeats it, "I was jus wondering if ya knew that we're suppose ta head ta the station."

I gave him an affirmative nod before adding frostily, "And this is the quickest way to it or don't you believe me?"

He sweats a bit before accepting my statement. Looking flustered for the moment, he attempts to cover it by muttering, "Eh, ok." However, the increased distance between us gave him away.

Turning my attention back to the road in front, I am wickedly glad to find out that I haven't lost my touch in intimidation. Needless to say, the rest of the journey was awfully silent.

* * *

The silence made my mind drift to places, which I disliked. I couldn't stop fretting about the situation back at the mansion. Have the CP9 left or they felt that leaving the Strawhats in a burning mansion isn't enough?

Was Zor- Swordsman-san condition critical after receiving the multiple Shigun from Kaku? Is Captain-san fine after Lucci dealt with him? Will Doctor-san and Nam-Navigator-san survive in the roomful of masters?

_Nami laid with her back against the wall, in a fetus posture, a heap of broken bones and skin on the floor. Her Climatact is held loosely in her grip, with the metal bent in different angles. Blood is slowly oozing out to form a huge puddle around her body. _

_Clumps of brown fur matted with blood can be seen near Nami's body. Chopper's lifeless body is not far from Nami's. His Guard Point didn't manage to withstand their Rankyaku attack and it was significantly smaller than usual. Due to the loss of fur, that their razor-sharp assault caused._

_Wado Ichimonji, the white katana that Zoro usually carries around is seen in Kaku's possession. While the said owner is struggling to get up, despite the red fluid flowing from the many finger holes. Using Sandai Kitetsu to prop himself up, he grips Yubashiri tightly before shifting his balance to attack. Suddenly, a white hilt is buried deep into his heart before he could even utter a word. _

_A bleeding and panting Luffy can only stare wordlessly as he sees his second mate dying in front of him. A second later, he snaps out of it and his expression change to a berserk one. Charging at Lucci, he punches wildly. His despair grew, as none of them seem to connect. His relentless strikes grew slower and slower until it came to a stop. Looking up with tears in his lifeless eyes, he gave up his hold over life. _

_And the tattered straw hat floats peacefully in the air. Only to be shattered as it was snatched out of the air roughly by a pair of unfamiliar hands._

The vivid scene of their death hit me so suddenly, that I stopped in my tracks. A shudder ran through me and I moved my hands quickly to stifle a sob. I kept my head down as I wrestled for control over my body. A few escaped tears, ran down my face and I wiped them away slowly.

"They aren't dead! It's just a figment of your overactive imagination." I snarled silently to myself. Shuffling and nervous footsteps reminded me that I had an audience.

Regaining my control, I straighten my posture and continued striding. Hearing no footsteps trailing behind me, I turned around and spoke icily. "Are you following or do I have to _drag_ you along?" I questioned, not waiting for an answer as I continued my walk.

* * *

Arriving at the station, I was slightly startled at the number of Marine personnel. I understand that they, unlike pirates, don't need to hide away but such a large number of people will still draw attention. Then again, it isn't like there is anyone around to bear witness to this. With the guards trawling behind, I made my way to the center of the square. I ignored the whispers as I stood there, waiting for someone to approach me.

While observing, I found it ironic that the Marine was dressing like the Mafia. The hat, clothing, shades and its two colour scheme, I would like to question the person who thought up of this attire. In a way, it's fitting. Since they were kidnapping Franky and using force to get their way.

Hearing someone's footsteps making his or her way to me, I stared at nothing in particular, keeping my gaze forward. A rough voice floated to my ear, informing me that the speaker is a guy who is past his prime.

"**You finally gave up after twenty years on the run, eh? Smart move." **Somehow, one of his words prompted me of the vision that I had earlier. A slightly troubled expression was present on my face as I tried to logically tear down that disconcerting scene.

_Look closely to find out the points that defy reality, then rest well knowing that the vision isn't true. _My analysis begun to resemble a Rubic Cube and my attention was split as I tried to solve the puzzle.

* * *

A spoken command towed me back to my current situation. As soon as I figured where I was heading to, I switched my focus back to the problem. Although I was amused that they not only they have to _look_ like the Mafia, they have to act like them too.

After the two of them checked the whole cabin, the shorter guy grinned maliciously before drawling, "Ya better stay here, for ya own _good_." The last word was spoken mockingly.

Ignoring him, I glanced around my surroundings and habitually noted down the exit points. The taller of the two, lead me to the middle of the cabin and indicated for me to sit. Taking the window seat as a small rebellious act, I waited till they were about to reach the doorway before breaking the comfortable silence.

I spoke quietly. "I sincerely hope that when you go to sleep in the night," I paused for effect, "You wouldn't freak out as a disembodied hand, for lack of better word, _appears_."

The both of them froze at the doorway before gulping visibly. After exchanging a look between the two of them, they opted for a brisk walk away from me. I raised an eyebrow at their actions. I didn't meant to scare them _that_ badly.

* * *

Being left alone with my thoughts isn't something that I'm a stranger to. However, it's the first time that I am solitary with _very unpleasant _thoughts. I can't make head or tails of the situation.

It's been a long time since I was so….unsure, in a path that I had chosen to walk. Propping my head on my left palm, I stared out at the reflective glass. I hoped for it to show my true self. It is unluckily, lost like so many of the objects that I was unable to find over the years. Somehow, after hiding it under many masks, I had lost touch with it.

Though, after careful thinking, this isn't the first time in years for such unsure-ness. As a matter of fact, everymoment spent as a Strawhats crewmember was filled with it. I was never certain of the way to _act_ around them.

* * *

_When I was first rescued, I had thought that Luffy is a reasonable person and that if I asked him nicely to put me down, he would obey. Who knew that his answer would be a negative one?_

My lips quirked slightly, as I recalled my enormous astonishment at being refused. It was gratifying to know that there was still someone out there who could throw me off my assumptions. That soft smile grew a tad deeper as the next memory came to mind…

_The method that I used to self-invite myself into their crew… I wasn't 100% confident that it will work. On the other hand, neither did I expect him to accept my enrolment so calmly or turn to his crewmates to grin and placate them with a simple " **Don't worry. She's not a bad person! "**_

My palm, moved to my forehead as I leaned onto the support that it provides. Tears started to well in my eyes and I shut my eyelids in an effort to prevent them from escaping. My smile couldn't wipe itself away in the face of such silly tactic, coming from the Captain nonetheless.

_Another treasured memory floated by, gracing me with it's locked emotions. The discovery that the Rio Poneglyph isn't lost in an unknown location, rather, it was at the same island as this crew's goal. Till now, I wasn't convinced if it is a piece of good news or an ill omen. _

The crew, which made it possible for me…

_During the Aokiji incident, which every single one of them was willing to protect me against an unstoppable foe. They stood so fearlessly, in front of me, between danger and me. For the first time, I felt so safe amongst a group of people that I collaborated for an ulterior motive. _

_The fact, that all of their sleeping forms could be spotted in the darkness of the cabin, which I laid recovering at. The ridiculous notion, as worried as they were, they could not head back to their own respective quarters without knowing either of our condition._

_Once I opened the door after I recovered, the happiness and relief that jumped out and greeted me momentarily stunned me. It was evident. All of them were very worried about me. Which is rare to find in the seas, the world to be exact, nowadays…_

* * *

My hand starts to tremble as suppressed feelings are surfacing. A sense of belonging wells up, as more memories are unlocked and was re-lived. How could I be so blind to their many invites for a true friendship? One with no strings attached at all.

Sensing the rumble of the train and hearing the piercing whistle of the conductor, all my emotions were wiped clean. Except, for one. An overwhelming emotion of loss…

My shoulders quivered as I cried silently into the darkness of my palm. Knowing that this train is leaving behind the friends that I finally truly found. Understanding that the last moment, which I will be genuinely happy, is lost to the clutches of time.

_And hating myself so harshly, for being the cause of such separation…_

* * *

**Author Note: **A BIG THANK YOU for all the readers that stuck along this long and bumpy journey (: Yes, thank _YOU_! Haha, I never expect that I would write a fanfic of 12.4k words! It's like the only story, I had ever written, that contained so many words!

A shoutout goes to my reviewers: **Rea** (For being such a constant reviewer :D), **Tracer **(whom, I can't reply personally as you aren't registered), **ruby890**( for that odd review out from nowhere xD), **Tare-chan** (Who reviewed despite having much more pressing matter at the next day ^^) , **Andara** (For reading it, even though English isn't your first language (I think so?)), (For writing such awesome ZoRo stories ^^)

Thank you to all alerts and favs too :P **BlindingDarkness1** for faving it since the last chapter~

As for this delayed chapter, well... I never expected to add so many scenes... Apparently, the writing bug caught me and the scenes just flowed out. I had life interfering my writing in the past three days, so I only _just_ wrote finish my ending. Unfortunately, I'm not satisfied with it, so I might be changing it later.

So, this is a kinda fresh from the oven chapter... And it doesn't have that many revisions compared to the others. Forgive me if Robin seemed ooc in this lil chapter D: I refuse to hold on to this chapter any longer because I will not be home for the next day and I can't bring my laptop along.

It's like 3.40am at my side now, I'll leave the last chapter here. With a long A/N. I might come back for a continuation sometime in the future. It won't be the near one though. I'll be working on my next story.. So keep an eye out for it ;)

In case, anyone is wondering, the reason I had Robin switching nicknames and their names at times... is because I want to show that she couldn't help but call them by their given names. Thus, abolishing the distance placed between them by using the nicknames. Also, the latest opening (14).. Is so awesome! It sums up the current situation so nicely. I suggest all of you to take a look! It does contain spoilers if you aren't up to date with the anime!


End file.
